I used to manage a small adult store, one of a local tri-state chain– I know better than anyone how steep the bill can be by the time you reach the door at the sex store. But you don’t always have to go to the naughty shop to get the supplies you need for your bedroom romps. Here are a few of my favorite low-cost replacements for some items you might usually be persuaded to buy while walking around the adult store with your honey!
Lube Shooter – Dosing Syringes
When I started camming, one of my favorite trade secrets was the lube shooter. They’re perfect for putting lube inside oneself or a partner to ensure the moisture gets everywhere you want it to be. Lube shooters are favored by anal enthusiasts and folks who have undergone chemotherapy (and therefore have a harder time generating their own vaginal moisture) for good reason, but in an adult store, a set of three of them can cost up to 11 dollars. Yikes! So skip the lube shooters and substitute dosing syringes! You know, the ones that come with children’s medicine to make the dose easy to measure and administer? Now you can use them to administer a whole DIFFERENT kind of medicine to adults!
You can swipe these off the medicines they come with and rinse them under hot water, but they’re also available in packs of 2 to 24 at pharmacies everywhere, at just pennies apiece. A quick Google search showed me several cheap places to buy them in bulk, from Amazon and a couple of medical supply companies. They’re still flared (and therefore safe to be used anally), and as an added bonus, you can measure how much lube you’re using! I, uh… can’t really think of a practical reason to be able to do that, but you will be able to do it!
Bondage Shears – Trauma Shears
Wipe that surprised look off your face! Surely you’re aware that you should always have a pair of bondage shears on hand if you’re going to participate in bondage that involves knotting material! Well, if you didn’t before, you do now. The safest protocol for tied bondage involves the rigger (the one doing the tying) having a pair of bondage shears within reach at all times to free the bunny (the one getting tied) very quickly in case of emergency (such as someone withdrawing their consent, a panicked bunny, a misapplied tie that accidentally cut off circulation to an extremity, etc). Read: not scissors. Bondage shears have dull ends so that they cannot pierce or slice skin while cutting the bandage/fabric. If you use a regular scissors to do this, you could seriously injure your bunny! And then you two will have to explain yourselves to the ER nurse while staring at the tile floor because she kind of resembles your nana and you can’t look her in the eye. Or, so I’ve heard. From people who’ve had that happen. Friends of mine. You don’t know them.
Unfortunately, the price tag on a pair of bondage shears at your local sex emporium is going to be a lot fatter than absolutely necessary, because trauma shears are the exact same thing. You can get them online from a medical supply store or from a pharmacy for as little as two dollars, and only you and your bunny will know.
Bondage, Period – Belts and Ties
I’m hardly the first one to think of this sexy DIY hack (if you’re thinking of Fifty Shades of Grey, stop at once), but I’d like to be the one to encourage you to do it safely!
Using the new knowledge you’ve obtained about trauma shears, remember that if you’re using a tie/scarf to bind someone, don’t get carried away. Start by making sure whatever you’re using to bind your lover is an article of clothing you’re willing to part with if your scene goes south and you must cut it to free your partner. While the concept of using your finest silk boardroom tie to render her helpless is indeed a very romantic and sexy idea, it’s one you would probably regret when your dick is soft later if something goes awry, and you have to cut it in half because you accidentally made a knot around your partner’s wrists you can’t undo. So, be prepared to cut, and be ready to cut by having your shears handy at all times. (note, if you’re using a belt made of leather, your shears may not cut it. Exercise extra caution and don’t use anything to bind your partner that you’re not confident you can’t loosen/remove in 5-6 seconds or less!)
Finally, be sure that you’re not binding your partner too tightly. When binding, take an extra moment to ensure two of your fingers can fit between their body and the bindings, or else you can risk their circulation and well-being. And ABSOLUTELY NEVER USE BELTS FOR BREATHPLAY. Again, an expectation made
The Tip You Never Saw Coming – Wax Warmers
You know the ones! You can always find tons of them in the thrift stores from when people who started S*ntscy “small businesses” woke up one day and realized they were in an MLM. Anyways, you can always find plenty of these wax warmers that plug into the walls or use candles to heat the wax, they usually have a little ceramic bowl on top for the wax blocks. Get one of those, wash it out, and hang onto your hair because I’m about to blow your mind.
Plug it/light it in next to your bed and set your lube bottle inside of it. Don’t forget it there! Set a 5-10 minute timer on your phone so you remember to grab it! It will be perfectly warm and delicious to drizzle anywhere on the body. This has been one of my favorite sex hacks that I use at home regularly. Who can say no to warm personal lubricant?
Vibrator – Handheld Back Massager
There’s nothing more devastating to your solo play session than your vibrator breathing its last before you’ve had the chance to finish. If you’re lucky, you have relatives who have absolutely no idea who you are as a person, but still feel compelled to give you gifts at Christmas, and hopefully they’ve picked something as generic as a vibrating back massager. These little guys are never more than ten dollars and always easy to find in a pharmacy, and tend to be given as gifts. They also pack an excellent punch on clits, nips, and tips!
Need a demonstration on how best to use a back massager as a vibrator? I’m more than happy to show you what I know! Subscribe to my Onlyfans for regular XXX updates, access to livestreams, and access to plenty of videos of me getting myself off. Or, to browse and purchase individual videos, visit my APClips for fetish clips, solo play, JOI, and so much more!
Toy Cleanser – Plain Dish Soap
When you’re at the XXX store, the most common upsell the salesperson will attempt before checkout is toy cleanser. These cleansers are nice and effective, and some have pleasant natural ingredients, but they tend to be spendy. If you’re trying to avoid breaking the bank but hoping to maintain the hygiene of your sex toys, I have a secret for you: your basic Dawn dish soap will do the same thing for a lot less.
No, I don’t think you need the anti-bacterial variety, because if you buy toys of decent quality and material, you shouldn’t have to worry about bleaching them clean. That said, if you have toys that you’re sharing with another person (I recommend everyone have their own though!), or toys that come into contact with blood, you will need something stronger. But for personal use toys made of glass or silicone, a little dish soap is an ideal daily cleanser free of alcohol that would otherwise erode the surface of your toys.
How About YOU?
I’ve shared my handful of DIY dirty secrets. But surely you’re looking at this list and wondering why I’ve left off that cool thing YOU buy from the grocery store instead of the sex store for just a third of the price! Tell me about it in the comments, and rest assured, I want to write a second post, and these are not ALL of my secrets. Share your wisdom with me!
‘Til next time!